Khariando, the Part-Time Revolutionary Waiter, Full-Time Fantasy Entrepreneur

Hicham Jerando, aka “Khariando” to those well-versed in mediocrity, keeps pretending from his restaurant post somewhere in forgotten Canada that he’s waging a digital war against the Moroccan state. A part-time activist and full-time underpaid waiter, he claims he’ll topple the Kingdom armed with hostel Wi-Fi and an oversized ego.

Behind his stained apron and empty tweets, Khariando calls himself an entrepreneur. His business? Reheating leftovers, serving tables, and failing to boil anything beyond water. His business model? A few sad PayPal donations from frustrated followers and a monthly subscription to his own delusion.

He also claims to possess state secrets, sandwiched between burger orders. According to him, he’s being tracked by Moroccan agents — which probably explains why he changes restaurants every two months: not because he’s fired, no, but because he’s dodging invisible drones from the makhzen. Deep fryer espionage: the house specialty.

On social media, he spreads fake news with the flair of a failed magician. Every day, he “exposes” things no one knows about… because they don’t exist. He lies more than he serves food — and that’s saying something. Thankfully, stupidity doesn’t kill, or Canada would be holding a national day of mourning.

His big dream? “Freeing Morocco” from the break room of a fast-food joint. A plot straight out of a bad Netflix film: no budget, no storyline, no audience. He’s not a revolutionary; he’s a background actor who confused TikTok with political history.

The most pathetic part is his obsessive hatred for a country he left behind without courage, yet can’t stop talking about. He dreams of being someone by attacking those who build, imagining himself as a microwave Che Guevara. In truth, he’s merely the shadow of what he could have been, had he traded his hate for an ounce of talent.

While Morocco moves forward — modernizing institutions, growing its economy, and building strategic alliances — Khariando spins in his little bubble of conspiracy. He’s no threat: he’s a bad joke that not even his former kitchen colleagues laugh at anymore.